Sardarji  bought  a  brand  new  Maruti and  decided  to  drive  down  from Amritsar, where he lived, to Jalandar  to  meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours. After  spending  a  few days there, he decided to return, and called  up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn't reach in the evening, and not the next day either. When  he  finally reached home on the third day, his distraut  mother  ran and asked him "Arre Puttar, ki hoya ?" The sardarji got out, obviously very  tired from  a  long  journey, and said,  " O, ye Maruti peoples are  fools, they have  provided 4  gears to  forward and only one gear to come back?"

    A Sardarji's  father  gave  the following  advice to  his son  about  to  be married. "Son, if   you  want  things  from  your in-laws,  be  sure to  pitch  your  demand  high. If  you  wanted  a  cycle,  ask  for  a   scooter;  if   you  wanted  a  motorcycle,  ask for a Maruti. Always ask for something higher than you need." The young Sardarji  who  wanted  no dowry,  imbibed  the  lesson. When  his  father-in-law asked what  he wanted, the young Sardarji replied, "Give me the girl's mother."

Banta Singh: "Yaar  Santa, last  year  the  name plate  outside  your house read Santa Singh B.A This  year it  reads  Santa Singh M.A, When  did  you finish your Degree?"

Santa Singh: "You don't understand. Last year my wife died, I put B.A. to indicate Bachelor Again. Then I  took  a  second wife, So M.A.  is  Married Again."

Three astronauts, a Russian, an American and a Sardarji are arguing about who's the best.

The Russian: WE are the best. WE were the first in space.

The American: No, no, no. WE are the best. We were the first to put a man on the moon.

The Surd: No, no gentlemen. WE are the best. WE are planning to land on the Sun.

The other two: But... but... you can't do that. The Sun's too hot.

The Surd: But we thought of that too. We're going to do it at night.

Santa Singh and Banta Singh were sitting on a tree and Santa Singh was singing a song. After 4 songs Santa Singh hung himself upside down and started singing again.

Banta Singh:  Santa Singh, what  is  the  matter  with  you? Why are you hanging upside down.

Santa Singh:  I am singing the B side.

There was a Sardarji that was  down  on  his  luck. In  order  to  raise some money he decided to kidnap a kid and  held  him  for  ransom. He  went  to  the  playground,  grabbed  a  kid, took  him  behind  a  tree, and  told  him, " I've kidnapped you."  The  Sardarji   then   wrote  a   note  saying:  "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow  morning,put $10,000 in a paper bag & put it beneath the mango tree next to the slide  on  the  north  side  of   the  city play ground". Signed,  "A Sardarji". The Sardarji  then pinned the note  to the  kid's  shirt  and  sent  him  home to show  it  to  his   parents. The  next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure  enough  a  paper  bag  was  sitting beneath the mango tree. The  Sardarji  opened  up  the bag  and  found  the $10,000 with a note saying, "How could you do this to a fellow Sardarji ?!"

    A fellow stopped at a rural petrol station and, after  filling his  tank,  he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood  by his  car to drink his cola  and he watched a couple of  surds working  along  the  roadside. One  surd  would dig a hole two or three feet deep and  then move on. The other surd  came along behind and filled  in the hole.While one was digging a new hole , the other  was  about 25 feet  behind  filling  in the old.  The men  worked  right  past  the  fellow  with the soft drink  and  went on down the road. "I can't stand this," said the man  tossing  the can in  a  trash  container  and heading down the road  toward the surds. "Hold it, hold it, " he said to the men. "Can you tell me what's  going  on here with this digging"? "Well, we work  for  the  city  corporation, " one of the surds said . "But one of you is digging a hole and the other fills it up.   you're not accomplishing anything.  Aren't you wasting the city's money?" "You  don't  understand,"one of  the  surds  said, leaning  on  his shovel and  wiping his  brow. "Normally there's three of us--me, Santa and Banta,I dig the hole, Santa sticks in the tree and Banta here puts the  sand back. Now just because Santa's sick, that doesn't  mean that Banta  and  me can't  work."

    Banta singh finished his English  exam  and came  out. His  friends asked him how did he do his  exam,  for that he replied "Exam  was okay, but  for the past tense of  THINK,  I thought, thought,  thought .. and at last I wrote THUNK !!!"

 1. Why it is not impossible to send a telegram to Washington today?

      Ans : Because he is dead.

  2. If you throw a  red stone into the blue sea what it will become ?

     Ans : It becomes wet.

  3. What often falls but never gets  hurt ?

      Ans : Rain

  4. What is that no man ever saw - which never was but always will be ?

       Ans : TOMORROW

  5. Why does a dog bite its tail ?

       Ans : To make both ends meet.

  6. What looks like half apple ?

      Ans :  The other half.

  7. What can you never eat for breakfast ?

      Ans : Dinner.

  8. What gets wet with drying ?

      Ans : A towel.

  9. What 3 letters change a girl into a  woman ?

      Ans : AGE.

  10. What  happened when wheel was invented ?

        Ans : It caused a revolution.

  11. Why is it easy to weigh a fish ?

        Ans : Because it has its own scales.

  12. Why does a bike  rest on its leg ?

        Ans : Because it is too tired (two tyred).

  13. Why letter E is  like Death ?

        Ans : Because it is end of 'LIFE'

  14. What 4 letters will frighten a thief ?

       Ans : OICU.

  15. What goes up but never comes down ?

        Ans : Your age.

  16. Why did people run away from the press conference when Mike Tyson started his speech?

       Ans : Because he started off: "Friends, Romans and Countrymen, please  lend me your ear."

 17. Which has 4 legs and can fly?

      Ans. 2 Birds.

 18. Why cant you see Prime Minister in the morning?

       Ans. Because he/she is PM.

 

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